Smoke Gets In Your Eyes: Lessons From The Crematory by Caitlin Doughty

Caitlin Doughty with a skull
of unconfirmed authenticity

      To describe Caitlin Doughty adequately would be a challenge. However, I think I should give it my best try.  Imagine, if you will, Wednesday Addams grew up and became a kindergarten teacher. One obsessed with death. And dying. One who oozes a macabre aura from every pore, but also speaks in such a way as to not make the little children in her care scream with terror, even though she's quite capable should she decide to turn off the charm.   That, pretty much describes Caitlin Doughty. Except she isn't a kindergartner teacher. She's a YouTube celebrity. And she's a mortician. You may think that's a bizarre combination. And you'd be right. Like a freshly embalmed corpse, she's pumped to the gills with an Addamsian creepy vibe. (I don't think she would find that comparison insulting.) But she's fascinating, and her videos become addictive once you start watching them, because despite the creep-factor, she is also quite likable. 

       I have no idea how I happened to stumble upon her YouTube channel Ask A Mortician . But when I saw the name "Ask A Mortician" in a list of suggested videos in the side scroll bar, I couldn't help but immediately click the link. Then, once the video ended, something unexpected happened. I watched another one. Then another one. Then another one. Her basic gig in the videos was simple. As an experienced mortician, she took on the responsibility of answering people's burning questions about death, and specifically, certain questions about what happens to our bodies after we die. The queries have proven to be fertile ground for Doughty's YouTube career, because the channel has been going strong for six plus years. I have to warn you, some of her videos are not for the faint of heart. 

   If Caitlin Doughty's YouTube channel isn't for the faint of heart, neither is her autobiography, Smoke Gets In Your Eyes. It's amusing, it's gruesome, it's horrifying, it's sad, and it's... fascinating. Like I said, it isn't for everyone. It's perfect for someone with an inquisitive mind, and someone who is curious about the goings on of the funeral industry. (Because, who isn't?)  But there is another caveat which should be added; I would not recommend the book to anybody who is struggling with the loss of a loved one. If such a death is preoccupying your mind, it may not be advisable to fill your head with images of certain processes described in the pages of this book.   

   The book is many things. First and foremost, it's a memoir. She began life as a history major. I forget the exact major, but it was something like "the history of Witchcraft in medieval Europe." While a fascinating thing for her to learn, she was disappointed to find out it didn't lead to many job prospects outside of Academia, which is a field she was not interested in. But she did what any bright happy-go-lucky young woman would do; she walked into a crematory and applied for a job. She was basically hired on the spot, and on her first shift, was ordered to shave a corpse.  The next several chapters weave through many tribulations of her career and personal life. Everything from learning through awkward trail and error how to deal with the bereaved, to the time she, horrifyingly, became covered in an unexpected deluge of human fat.   

  But the book isn't just a memoir. It's also a cultural guide. She tells us about the customs of many tribes of the past. One of which used cannibalism to pay their respects to the dead. It was not only acceptable for the tribes to eat the dead, it was expected. I'll spare you further details, because I don't want to ruin the book for you. But you will learn a lot.

      Even more than memoir, even more than a cultural guide, the book is a manifesto. She wants to change how people mourn the dead. She believes it has become too impersonal, and the loved ones of the deceased should be in the room to wash and clothe the bodies of the departed. She thinks that death has become too hidden from our society, and we need to see bodies and interact with them more to remind us that we are mortal, and to help us better mourn the losses of those we love. I'm not sure I agree, but you should read her case for it in her book.  

  In similar vein of activism, she notes that in recent years, the funeral industry has become de-localized. The majority of funeral homes are now owned by a single conglomerate, Service Corps International, more commonly branded as Dignity. I've noticed the Dignity logo on the signs of many cemeteries, and have personally found the branding a tad tasteless. But Caitlin's concerns go beyond the McDonald's like branding of the funeral industry. 

  I suggest you read her book if you think it might be for you. You will enjoy it.   A.